Chapter XVIII

PETRONIUS to VINICIUS:

"Thy case is a bad one, carissime. It is clear that Venus has disturbed
thy mind, deprived thee of reason and memory, as well as the power to
think of aught else except love. Read some time thy answer to my
letter, and thou wilt see how indifferent thy mind is to all except
Lygia; how exclusively it is occupied with her, how it returns to her
always, and circles above her, as a falcon above chosen prey. By
Pollux! find her quickly, or that of thee which fire has not turned into
ashes will become an Egyptian sphinx, which, enamored, as 'tis said, of
pale Isis, grew deaf and indifferent to all things, waiting only for
night, so as to gaze with stony eyes at the loved one.

"Run disguised through the city in the evening, even honor Christian
houses of prayer in thy philosopher's company. Whatever excites hope
and kills time is praiseworthy. But for my friendship's sake do this
one thing: Ursus, Lygia's slave, is a man of uncommon strength very
likely; hire Croton, and go out three together; that will be safer and
wiser. The Christians, since Pomponia and Lygia belong to them, are
surely not such scoundrels as most people imagine. But when a lamb of
their flock is in question they are no triflers, as they have shown by
carrying away Lygia. When thou seest Lygia thou wilt not restrain
thyself, I am sure, and wilt try to bear her away on the spot. But how
wilt thou and Chilonides do it? Croton would take care of himself, even
though ten like Ursus defended the maiden. Be not plundered by Chilo,
but be not sparing of money on Croton. Of all counsels which I can give
this is the best one.

"Here they have ceased to speak of the infant Augusta, or to say that
she perished through witchcraft. Poppća mentions her at times yet; but
Cćsar's mind is stuffed with something else. Moreover, if it be true
that the divine Augusta is in a changed state again, the memory of that
child will be blown away without trace. We have been in Naples for some
days, or rather in Baić. If thou art capable of any thought, echoes of
our life must strike thy ear, for surely Rome talks of naught else. We
went directly to Baić, where at first memories of the mother attacked
us, and reproaches of conscience. But dost thou know to what
Ahenobarbus has gone already? To this, that for him even the murder of
his mother is a mere theme for verses, and a reason for buffoonish
tragic scenes.

"Formerly he felt real reproaches only in so far as he was a coward;
now, when he is convinced that the earth is under his feet as before,
and that no god is taking vengeance, he feigns them only to move people
by his fate. He springs up at night sometimes declaring that the Furies
are hunting him; he rouses us, looks around, assumes the posture of an
actor playing the role of Orestes, and the posture of a bad actor too;
he declaims Greek verses, and looks to see if we are admiring him. We
admire him apparently; and instead of saying to him, Go to sleep, thou
buffoon! we bring ourselves also to the tone of tragedy, and protect the
great artist from the Furies. By Castor! this news at least must have
reached thee, that he has appeared in public at Naples. They drove in
from the city and the surrounding towns all the Greek ruffians, who
filled the arena with such a vile odor of sweat and garlic that I thank
the gods that, instead of sitting in the first rows with the Augustians,
I was behind the scenes with Ahenobarbus. And wilt thou believe it, he
was afraid really! He took my hand and put it to his heart, which was
beating with increased pulsation; his breath was short; and at the
moment when he had to appear he grew as pale as a parchment, and his
forehead was covered with drops of sweat. Still he saw that in every
row of seats were pretorians, armed with clubs, to rouse enthusiasm if
the need came. But there was no need. No herd of monkeys from the
environs of Carthage could howl as did this rabble. I tell thee that
the smell of garlic came to the stage; but Nero bowed, pressed his hand
to his heart, sent kisses from his lips, and shed tears. Then he rushed
in among us, who were waiting behind the scenes, like a drunken man,
crying, 'What were the triumphs of Julius compared with this triumph of
mine?' But the rabble was howling yet and applauding, knowing that it
would applaud to itself favors, gifts, banquets, lottery tickets, and a
fresh exhibition by the Imperial buffoon. I do not wonder that they
applauded, for such a sight had not been seen till that evening. And
every moment he repeated: 'See what the Greeks are! see what the Greeks
are!' From that evening it has seemed to me that his hatred for Rome is
increasing. Meanwhile special couriers were hurried to Rome announcing
the triumph, and we expect thanks from the Senate one of these days.
Immediately after Nero's first exhibition, a strange event happened
here. The theatre fell in on a sudden, but just after the audience had
gone. I was there, and did not see even one corpse taken from the
ruins. Many, even among the Greeks, see in this event the anger of the
gods, because the dignity of Cćsar was disgraced; he, on the contrary,
finds in it favor of the gods, who have his song, and those who listen
to it, under their evident protection. Hence there are offerings in all
the temples, and great thanks. For Nero it is a great encouragement to
make the journey to Achća. A few days since he told me, however, that he
had doubts as to what the Roman people might say; that they might revolt
out of love for him, and fear touching the distribution of grain and
touching the games, which might fail them in case of his prolonged
absence.

"We are going, however, to Beneventum to look at the cobbler
magnificence which Vatinius will exhibit, and thence to Greece, under
the protection of the divine brothers of Helen. As to me, I have noted
one thing, that when a man is among the mad he grows mad himself, and,
what is more, finds a certain charm in mad pranks. Greece and the
journey in a thousand ships; a kind of triumphal advance of Bacchus
among nymphs and bacchantes crowned with myrtle, vine, and honeysuckle;
there will be women in tiger skins harnessed to chariots; flowers,
thyrses, garlands, shouts of 'Evoe!' music, poetry, and applauding
Hellas. All this is well; but we cherish besides more daring projects.
We wish to create a species of Oriental Imperium,--an empire of palm-
trees, sunshine, poetry, and reality turned into a dream, reality turned
into the delight of life only. We want to forget Rome; to fix the
balancing point of the world somewhere between Greece, Asia, and Egypt;
to live the life not of men but of gods; not to know what commonness is;
to wander in golden galleys under the shadow of purple sails along the
Archipelago; to be Apollo, Osiris, and Baal in one person; to be rosy
with the dawn, golden with the sun, silver with the moon; to command, to
sing, to dream. And wilt thou believe that I, who have still sound
judgment to the value of a sestertium, and sense to the value of an as,
let myself be borne away by these fantasies, and I do this for the
reason that, if they are not possible, they are at least grandiose and
uncommon? Such a fabulous empire would be a thing which, some time or
other, after long ages, would seem a dream to mankind. Except when
Venus takes the form of Lygia, or even of a slave Eunice, or when art
beautifies it, life itself is empty, and many a time it has the face of
a monkey. But Bronzebeard will not realize his plans, even for this
cause, that in his fabulous kingdom of poetry and the Orient no place is
given to treason, meanness, and death; and that in him with the poses of
a poet sits a wretched comedian, a dull charioteer, and a frivolous
tyrant. Meanwhile we are killing people whenever they displease us in
any way. Poor Torquatus Silanus is now a shade; he opened his veins a
few days since. Lecanius and Licinus will enter on the consulate with
terror. Old Thrasea will not escape death, for he dares to be honest.
Tigellinus is not able yet to frame a command for me to open my veins.
I am still needed not only as elegantić arbiter, but as a man without
whose counsel and taste the expedition to Achća might fail. More than
once, however, I think that sooner or later it must end in opening my
veins; and knowest thou what the question will be then with me?--that
Bronzebeard should not get my goblet, which thou knowest and admirest.
Shouldst thou be near at the moment of my death, I will give it to thee;
shouldst thou be at a distance, I will break it. But meanwhile I have
before me yet Beneventum of the cobblers and Olympian Greece; I have
Fate too, which, unknown and unforeseen, points out the road to every
one.

"Be well, and engage Croton; otherwise they will snatch Lygia from thee
a second time. When Chilonides ceases to be needful, send him to me
wherever I may be. Perhaps I shall make him a second Vatinius, and
consuls and senators may tremble before him yet, as they trembled before
that knight Dratevka. It would be worth while to live to see such a
spectacle. When thou hast found Lygia, let me know, so that I may offer
for you both a pair of swans and a pair of doves in the round temple of
Venus here. Once I saw Lygia in a dream, sitting on thy knee, seeking
thy kisses. Try to make that dream prophetic. May there be no clouds
on thy sky; or if there be, let them have the color and the odor of
roses! Be in good health; and farewell!"