[Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the
emperor's palace. A conversation between the author and a
principal secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The
author's offers to serve the emperor in his wars.]

The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was,
that I might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which
the emperor easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no
hurt either to the inhabitants or their houses. The people had
notice, by proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall
which encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least
eleven inches broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very
safely round it; and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet
distance. I stepped over the great western gate, and passed very
gently, and sidling, through the two principal streets, only in my
short waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the
houses with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the utmost
circumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers who might
remain in the streets, although the orders were very strict, that
all people should keep in their houses, at their own peril. The
garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with spectators,
that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more populous
place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall being
five hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across
and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes
and alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I
passed, are from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of
holding five hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to
five stories: the shops and markets well provided.

The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city where the two
great streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and
twenty feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty's
permission to step over this wall; and, the space being so wide
between that and the palace, I could easily view it on every side.
The outward court is a square of forty feet, and includes two other
courts: in the inmost are the royal apartments, which I was very
desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the great
gates, from one square into another, were but eighteen inches high,
and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of the outer court were
at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride
over them without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls
were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the
same time the emperor had a great desire that I should see the
magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till
three days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some
of the largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards
distant from the city. Of these trees I made two stools, each
about three feet high, and strong enough to bear my weight. The
people having received notice a second time, I went again through
the city to the palace with my two stools in my hands. When I came
to the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took
the other in my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set
it down on the space between the first and second court, which was
eight feet wide. I then stept over the building very conveniently
from one stool to the other, and drew up the first after me with a
hooked stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost court;
and, lying down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows of
the middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered
the most splendid apartments that can be imagined. There I saw the
empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with
their chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was
pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the
window her hand to kiss.

But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of
this kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now
almost ready for the press; containing a general description of
this empire, from its first erection, through along series of
princes; with a particular account of their wars and politics,
laws, learning, and religion; their plants and animals; their
peculiar manners and customs, with other matters very curious and
useful; my chief design at present being only to relate such events
and transactions as happened to the public or to myself during a
residence of about nine months in that empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private
affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered
his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an
hours audience; which I readily consented to, on account of his
quality and personal merits, as well as of the many good offices he
had done me during my solicitations at court. I offered to lie
down that he might the more conveniently reach my ear, but he chose
rather to let me hold him in my hand during our conversation. He
began with compliments on my liberty; said "he might pretend to
some merit in it;" but, however, added, "that if it had not been
for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I might not
have obtained it so soon. For," said he, "as flourishing a
condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under
two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the danger of an
invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the first,
you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there have
been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of
Tramecksan and Slamecksan, from the high and low heels of their
shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged,
indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient
constitution; but, however this be, his majesty has determined to
make use only of low heels in the administration of the government,
and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but
observe; and particularly that his majesty's imperial heels are
lower at least by a drurr than any of his court (drurr is a measure
about the fourteenth part of an inch). The animosities between
these two parties run so high, that they will neither eat, nor
drink, nor talk with each other. We compute the Tramecksan, or
high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is wholly on our
side. We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to the crown,
to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least we can
plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other,
which gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these
intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the
island of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the
universe, almost as large and powerful as this of his majesty. For
as to what we have heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms
and states in the world inhabited by human creatures as large as
yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather
conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars;
because it is certain, that a hundred mortals of your bulk would in
a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty's
dominions: besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no
mention of any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput
and Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell
you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty moons
past. It began upon the following occasion. It is allowed on all
hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them,
was upon the larger end; but his present majesty's grandfather,
while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it according
to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers.
Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict, commanding all
his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of
their eggs. The people so highly resented this law, that our
histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on that
account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown.
These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs of
Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for
refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven thousand persons
have at several times suffered death, rather than submit to break
their eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have
been published upon this controversy: but the books of the Big-
endians have been long forbidden, and the whole party rendered
incapable by law of holding employments. During the course of
these troubles, the emperors of Blefusca did frequently expostulate
by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in religion,
by offending against a fundamental doctrine of our great prophet
Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the Blundecral (which is
their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon
the text; for the words are these: 'that all true believers break
their eggs at the convenient end.' And which is the convenient
end, seems, in my humble opinion to be left to every man's
conscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate to
determine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in
the emperor of Blefuscu's court, and so much private assistance and
encouragement from their party here at home, that a bloody war has
been carried on between the two empires for six-and-thirty moons,
with various success; during which time we have lost forty capital
ships, and a much a greater number of smaller vessels, together
with thirty thousand of our best seamen and soldiers; and the
damage received by the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater
than ours. However, they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and
are just preparing to make a descent upon us; and his imperial
majesty, placing great confidence in your valour and strength, has
commanded me to lay this account of his affairs before you."

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor;
and to let him know, "that I thought it would not become me, who
was a foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with
the hazard of my life, to defend his person and state against all
invaders."